It is no secret that 2020 has been probably one of the hardest years in all of our lifetime. We have been so fortunate to keep jobs and our health as many others have not been so lucky, we count our blessings everyday! 2020 has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster for many reasons though. Coming off of our Tennessee trip in early February Chad and I were on a high and so hopeful and excited for our future. We both felt the pull to begin the process of getting things in order for us to make the move. Coronavirus was still in the early stages and while we heard some talk about it, we never imagined how it would turn the world upside down. I remember the day we got the announcement that school would close for 3 weeks. We had a staff meeting and each grade level scrambled to get 3 weeks of independent study into our principals hands. Little did we know that was the last time we would all be together in one room… The stay at home order changed the way we did everything. We weren’t going to parks, baseball and BMX were cancelled, we couldn’t see friends and weren’t seeing most of our family. I remember crying a lot during this time. I was sad about not being able to visit parents and grandparents, I was sad about school closing, I was sad about all of the normal experiences that my kids were missing out on, I was sad about the crazy events that were happening in our world. I went to Chad one day and told him that I didn’t think I could move to Tennessee. I had a little taste of what it would feel like to be away from everything and everyone familiar and I had felt so isolated and depressed that I knew there was no way I could make that move across the country and feel this way constantly. From April to August we continued to talk casually about moving one day, but we weren’t as dedicated as we once were. Then came September. The new school year was underway and extremely stressful and difficult. Virtual teaching left me feeling even more isolated, depressed and unfulfilled. I was missing my coworkers who are also dear friends, I was missing the interaction with students and I was realizing that life was not going to be back to normal for a really long time. The distance I was feeling made me realize that I was already going through separating myself from my old life. I had the thought that moving across the country wouldn’t be as difficult since I was already partially living away from everything that I once knew anyways. To top it all off, fires started to rage in California. Something that unfortunately we are getting used to year after year. I was tired. Sick and tired of this way of life. I started to wonder about what kind of life we were giving our kids? On top of losing our normalcy due to covid, we now had to keep our kids inside because the air was so toxic. After some talking Chad and I were back on the same page about moving. We talked about where we would like to be in 5 years. The answer: Owning our home, kids living a free and happy life, fresh air, and spending our free time boating and camping without worrying about financial stress. Could we get all of that in California? We knew the answer to that would be absolutely not. We were back on the Tennessee bandwagon and started to plan for our future. We know that we have two choices: Staying in California and living life the way we are (spinning the same wheel) or getting out of our comfort zone and uprooting everything we have ever known and going to a place where our dreams can come true. Moving to Tennessee is not the easiest path, but it is the one worth choosing. Here are some lyrics to Chris Stapelton’s song “Starting Over” the song gives me hope that things will be ok!
Well the road rolls out like a welcome mat
To a better place than the one we’re at
And I ain’t got no kinda plan
But I’ve had all of this town I can stand
And I got friends out on the coast
We can jump in the water and see what floats
We’ve been savin’ for a rainy day
Let’s beat the storm and be on our way
And it don’t matter to me
Wherever we are is where I wanna be
And Honey, for once in our life
Let’s take our chances and roll the dice
I can be your lucky penny, you can be my four-leaf clover
Startin’ over
This might not be an easy time
There’s rivers to cross and hills to climb
Some days we might fall apart
And some nights might feel cold and dark
But nobody wins afraid of losin’
And the hard roads are the ones worth choosin’
Someday we’ll look back and smile
And know it was worth every mile
And it don’t matter to me
Wherever we are is where I wanna be
And Honey, for once in our life
Let’s take our chances and roll the dice
I can be your lucky penny, you can be my four-leaf clover
Startin’ over
Talkin' Tennessee 